We help you find the root behind the reacting, the shutting down, and the heaviness that won’t lift, so what changes actually stays changed.
No cost, and nothing to prepare. Just three minutes and an honest look.
What’s your root?
Abandonment
The one who leaves first
You pull away before they can. You read tone for signs of trouble. You work hard at being easy to be around, and quietly resent it.
One of these four is shaping most of your reactions right now. Three minutes tells you which.
Most people never say it out loud. A lot more of us think it than let on.
Most of these began as ways of protecting yourself, long before the moment you’re blaming yourself for now.
They don’t have to keep shaping how you live and love.
Plenty of people find us through a conversation about conflict, or distance, or the argument that keeps coming back. Then they arrive here and wonder why we’re asking about childhood.
Here’s why. The fight is real, and so is everything around it. But two people rarely bring only the present moment into a room. They bring what they learnt about being loved, being left, being enough. Work on the conversation and you’ll get better at the conversation. Work on what each of you is carrying, and the conversation changes on its own.
So we start with the person. Not because the relationship doesn’t matter, but because it’s the fastest honest way in.
You’re made of three parts. Your body, which is what everyone can see. Your mind, where your thoughts and feelings live. And your spirit, the deepest part of you, the part nobody sees.
What was done to you didn’t land on the outside. It landed at the centre, in your spirit. From there it shapes how you feel, and how you feel shapes what you do.
Abandonment, betrayal, abuse, neglect. Underneath all four is the same thing, the sense of being unwanted, unloved and unseen.
Anger, anxiety, shame, worthlessness, going numb. Feelings that arrive faster than you can think and are older than whatever set them off.
The reacting, the shutting down, the drinking, the scrolling, the working late, the needing to be right. The part you get judged for.
It starts at the centre. Nobody can see this ring, and most of the time neither can you.
Almost everything on offer works on the outer ring, and it does help. You can change what you do, and plenty of people have.
But if the centre never moved, the middle ring is still exactly as it was. Which is why someone can stop drinking and still feel empty, or get their temper under control and still feel like they’re bracing for something.
You end up a very good manager of a problem you still have. This work goes to the centre.
Everything we do runs on the same five steps. We call them the Emotional Freedom Steps, and they’re the same shape whether you’re working on how you react, your marriage, or your home.
Name what you’re feeling, and which house you’re living in. Most people have never had words for this.
Find the root underneath it, and who taught it to you.
Work through forgiveness at your own pace, with your boundaries left intact.
Bring it to God, and let him do what understanding on its own was never going to do.
Build the rhythms that hold the change when the pressure comes back, because it will.
God is present in all five. The fourth is where we name it most directly.
Take the free quizYou can learn where a pattern came from. You can understand yourself well, and plenty of people do real, lasting work with a good counsellor. We think highly of that, and we’d never tell you to stop.
But there’s a layer underneath understanding, and it’s the one we care most about. The shame that stays after you’ve explained it. The forgiveness you keep deciding to give and somehow can’t. A sense of who you are that got set by what happened to you rather than by who made you.
That’s where we bring God in, and not as a nice thought at the end of a session. You forgive because you’ve been forgiven first. You receive who you were designed to be from the one who designed you, rather than assembling it out of your history. And you stop having to be your own healer, which is the most tiring job most people are quietly doing.
If you’re not sure what you believe, you’re welcome here. Scripture and prayer are part of what we teach, and you’ll be invited rather than pushed. We’d rather tell you up front what we’re doing than surprise you in session four.
None of this started as a video course. We ran it in living rooms, church halls and community centres for years before we filmed a minute of it.
3,500+
People we’ve worked with in person over the past decade
300
Participants surveyed after completing the in-person programme
97%
Of those surveyed reported an improvement
All figures are from in-person delivery and are self-reported. The online course is new, and we’ll publish its own numbers as they come in.
“Testimonial one. Short, specific, and about a changed behaviour rather than a feeling. Ideally from someone who was sceptical first.”
“Testimonial two. Ideally a man, because they’re the harder sell here, and about something his family noticed rather than something he felt.”
“Testimonial three. Ideally someone who did it alone while their spouse didn’t, since that’s the most common hesitation.”
For twelve years I led a community development programme for people carrying the weight of what had happened to them. More than 3,500 came through it, in living rooms, church halls and community centres. I watched thousands of them get free of things they’d carried for decades.
Then we got married, and had the worst year of our lives. I was the one who’d spent years helping other people through exactly this, and I couldn’t do it in my own lounge. We had to use it on ourselves before we ever put it on camera.
We’re not counsellors, and we’re careful about that line. What we have is a process that’s been run with thousands of people, and our own story of needing it first.
Shawn and Tawhiwhi Reddy
Five sessions you can work through at your own pace, with a workbook where the real work happens. Lifetime access, so you can come back to it whenever the pattern shows up again.
You can do it on your own, or alongside your husband or wife. Most people finish inside a fortnight.
The flagship
Emotional Healing Course
Do the work, or get your money back inside 30 days.
Never instead of it. We think highly of good counsellors and plenty of people do both. If you’re already seeing someone, bring this to them.
Scripture, prayer, forgiveness and spiritual healing are part of what we teach, throughout. You don’t need to share our beliefs to take part, and you’ll be invited rather than pressured.
This isn’t the right first step. Please talk to someone today. Find urgent support where you are, and come back to this when things are steadier.
When you understand what you’re carrying, you can begin to love and respond differently. That’s the whole idea, and it starts with three minutes.
No cost, and nothing to prepare. Just three minutes and an honest look.
